today was confusing.
(i lost him somewhere)
i tend to lose them in the same places
(somewhere in between the breathing
and somewhere deep within the
knowing and far away from the
time i open my eyes and say
"i know.")
i found it strange. how i stopped crying by just looking at the pathetic comfort that was the roll of tissue paper. very calmly, and very seriously, i thought :
"i can't cry anymore. i only have enough tissue for one more blow. so i'll stop crying now."
and that was that.
(but then in the space between the shaking of my shoulders
and the painfulhatingdeepintakeofbreath he suddenly)
very
quietly
breathes
"i love you."
(oh how how how how how i hate the way i love you)