i liked the way the sky hung over us, that night.
my body on top of this ledge before the ocean, the water sliding and tumbling over the large rocks below me. the way the smell of the night mingled with the taste of the sea was calming, quieting.
the music played somewhere in the background, laying gentle notes across the left side of my body, while my right drowned in the crashing of the sea.
she's a brick
and i'm drowning slowly
off the coast
and i'm heading nowhere
she's a brick
and i'm drowning slowly
and you were behind me, lying down as well, the top of our heads brushing against each other. you were busy sending off text messages, like you often do, the cellphone's green glow bouncing along the top of my vision. if i narrowed my eyes and concentrated, i could see those thin black letters appear above me. but it made my head swim with effort, and so i didn't bother for long.
the green light stole away the sky's darkness, the stars fading from view. in an attempt to bring them back, i let a tired hand fall over my forehead. and surely enough, one by one, the stars came back to wink at me.
and i thought of him.
but at that moment, the ocean crashed, pouring it's bottomless heart into it. his gray smile faded from my mind, and once again your green screen bobbed above my vision.
and somewhere far away, the rest of them were talking, female voices bursting with youth and happiness. the kind of happiness that was shallow that could be squeezed out of the pulp of everyday life. the kind of happiness that dripped from this day and the next, the drink of existence.
the kind of happiness you grew so weary of, so tired of. until you hold your head up in the morning, and realize it's gone. far away.
and in that same far away, the music breathed on.
she's a brick
and i'm drowning slowly
off the coast
and i'm heading nowhere
she's a brick
and i'm drowning slowly
could i drown too?
could i drown with him, in this black ocean that trembled beneath my right hand?
and if we drowned here, in this place, here, in this black ocean. if we drowned, we could stare up past the water. and the sky would be so dark, so vast, we would be drowning in it too. here where the sky and sea meet, there are only these black waves, these black clouds.
after a while, you spoke to me again. and it was if the black ocean drained out of my veins, and the sky escaped from my throat. breathing again. here, with you, and your green screen.
and still he was there. somewhere there, in the back of mind. floating above a black ocean, waiting for me.
but for now i am here. below a black sky, above a black ocean. and i like the way the sky hangs over us, tonight.
drown me in a dark ocean, where no one can ever find me